March Foolishness

It is that time of year again. The NCAA basketball season is winding up and March Madness has arrived. It is time for every retard in America to fill out his bracket. Why is that every moron on this side of the moon feels compelled to attempt to pick winners of basketball games that he hasn’t even seen 75% of the teams ever play a game? Now, I understand that some of you people have placed some wagers on the outcome of the tournament, and that’s fine, but don’t try to pick any upsets please. By picking an upset, what you’re saying is, “I know more about NCAA basketball than the guys that are paid to watch and evaluate every basketball game that’s been played this season.” The fact is, you don’t know anything compared to these guys. I don’t want to hear that BS about “historically the 12 seed can upset the 5 seed” and blah blah blah. If you have money riding on this, the best chance you have of winning is to pick every higher seed of every game. That’s it. The big secret. Pick every 7 seed to beat every 10 seed and pick every 3 seed to beat every 14 seed all the way through the brackets. In the final four you should have the four 1 seeds. At that point, and that point only, you can use your prognosticating powers to pick from those teams. I repeat, you do not know more than the experts; that is why they are called experts. If you are the other group of idiots that just fills out a bracket for no reason other than to prove that you are an expert, don’t. Do not waste your time making a fool out of yourself and then lying to everyone that you picked the big upsets or the teams in the final four. “Yeah, I had Marquette and Kentucky in the championship game.” Just stop. Now. Don’t’ be one of those guys that acts like he has been following college basketball all season. The sport is a pathetically terrible shadow of itself. What happened to the great players? Quick name me one player in college today that will be a sure fire all-star in the NBA in a couple of years… You can’t do it, can you? The NCAA is a watered down version of crappy basketball that is barely watchable on a regular basis. I’m sure there is an exciting game now and then, but for the most part, it sucks. Save yourself some time and effort and bet on a coin flip, you’ll have a better chance of winning. Just when you do win, don’t walk around your office smugly telling everyone that you ‘had a feeling’ from before the coin flip that heads was going to win, because that’s what the winner of the office bracket pool will be doing…