The biggest loser, really!

Is anyone else besides me upset that when you now call someone the biggest loser that you know that they think you are complimenting them on their weight loss? All of my good insults are being taken away from me. The next thing you know, people are going to think by being called a “stupid jackass” that they are being praised for their love of horses or something. If I call you the biggest loser I know, just know that that isn’t a good thing.

Remember when you were in Kindergarten or First Grade and your teacher told you that there was no such thing as a stupid question? THEY LIED TO YOU! There are plenty of stupid questions. I don’t know why they lied to you, maybe they were trying to win your approval or something, but it isn’t true. Not only are there stupid questions, there are down right moronic ones too. The only way to undo the damage that has been done by these teachers of impressionable minds is to ridicule somebody that asks you a stupid question. Do not enable their stupidity by glossing over the situation with a polite answer.

I’ve heard that there is an organization set up nationwide to help combat cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of retard reports someone that is text messaging bad names to you? Look, if you are a puss enough to think you are being bullied over the internet, you deserve it. Here’s a plan, the next time someone cyber-bullies you, turn off the computer and go hit a heavy bag or something. Problem solved. What kind of threats are they making anyway? Hey you, I’m going to send you a frownie face :( ? Or worse yet : P . Give me a break… Start acting like a normal person…