AP, you're the man!

Here is an AP headline on the wire today: “Fireworks to highlight July 4th celebrations.” That, ladies and gentlemen, is just a sample of the hard-hitting stories that you will find on the AP wire. Is it any wonder that the AP is one of the biggest and most prestigious news agencies in the world today? How do they do it? Is anyone else getting tired of these assholes that call themselves news agencies? Seriously, can anyone believe that this story is anything but a space filler? This leads me to ask another question; if all you are doing is filling space, isn’t there anyone out there that could do it more creatively? At least make things interesting for me… Writing a 10 paragraph story about how fireworks will be a part of the July 4th holiday, just make something up. Come up with some story like The National Enquirer used to. Make up some story about a three headed kid or something. If news agencies are worried about their credibility as reporters, they shouldn’t because as far as I’m concerned, they have none anyway. If you are the type of person that believes everything that the AP tells you, you are an idiot. I don’t believe about 75% of what I read from the AP anyway, so they may as well make what they write entertaining. To be honest with you, I trust The Onion more than I trust the AP. I guess the bottom line is this; bullshit me all you want, just make it funny. Oh, by the way, I heard that there were some July 4th cookouts where people might be drinking some beer; you had better send a reporter.