Ocho

A couple of days ago, the governor of The Commonwealth of Virginia declared April to be Confederacy month. First off, I don’t give a damn if Virginia likes it or not, drop this “Commonwealth” bullshit already. You are a goddamn state you morons. Quit being elitists. Anyway, everyone was up in arms that when Governor McDonnel made the declaration, he didn’t also condemn slavery. Ok, I’ve had it. Look, slavery was an unfair and terrible thing that happened in our country a couple hundred of years ago, but do we need to keep harping on it now? Drop it already. On both sides. First, declaring a Confederacy month is kind of like having a “Nazi” celebration in Germany. The other side isn’t much better, haven’t they ever been taught that if you ignore morons, they will eventually go away? What is with all of this hate and vitriol? Both of you, knock it off and grow up! I’m tired of reading about both of your retarded groups always acting up and making spectacles about yourselves. You remind me of two five year olds in the back seat of a station wagon whining like a couple of little bitches that “he started it!” Meanwhile, I’m going to keep my eyes on the road and turn the radio up so that I can’t hear either of you and take a big swig of my Schlitz tallboy; the fifth out of my six-pack. If you don’t stop soon, I’m turning this car around…

Hey (read Harry Carey), what if Chap Ocho Sinco were to be traded to a team where someone already had the number 85? Would he have to change in name again to something like Ocho Quatro? Also, what if someone changes his last name to “RodgerGoddellSucksAss?” Would he be allowed to wear that on the back of his uniform? On a more serious note, why hasn’t Nike paid someone to change his last name to “Nike?” It seems like a slam-dunk. I can’t imagine that it is far off when you’ll see Peyton Reebok throwing touchdown passes to Reggie Gatorade…