Speed Date Night

As anyone who knows me is aware, I am all about being cutting edge. My latest idea is no different. I have come up with a plan that combines two modern ideas into one. As depicted in flaming turd of a movie known as “Date Night,” many married couples are devoting one night a week to going out on a date. These couples believe that this will help them keep their relationship fresh and prevent one another from taking each other for granted. The other ingredient to my plan is another modern scheme known as “speed dating.” “Speed dating” is where a large group of men and women couple off with each other for 5 minutes or so to talk. When the 5 minutes are up, the couples switch partners for the next 5 minutes and so on in the hopes of turning dating into a numbers game. One figures that the more of the opposite sex that you talk to, the more likely you are to meet that special someone. My plan is to combine these two ideas into one better idea. I would like to institute the “speed date night” with my wife. Here’s how it works; Step 1: on every Tuesday night, my wife talks to me for 5 minutes (preferably during a commercial) and when the 5 minutes are up, I move on to no one. My wife and I are after all married and I have no desire to “speed date” any other woman as I love her very much. Actually, that’s it, there is no second step. I would like to institute this with married couples all over the country. I ran this idea by my wife, but she didn’t have much to say and then just laughed. Keep in mind, Einstein was met with skepticism at first as well. We’ll see…