And they are off!

I was watching the movie Julie and Julia the other day and it gave me an idea. I needed to eat... Did anyone else that saw that movie get as hungry as I did? Some of those meals looked pretty good. If you haven't seen the movie, make sure to see it, but eat before you go.

The other idea I got was to start a blog. I figured if people will read about some lady's cooking misadventures, there would be some people that read about my retarded logic... Last night I was diagnosed as ADD by my wife although she quickly added that I was a highly functional case. After thinking about it, I realized that she may be on to something, not that I believe in ADD at all, but I do tend to jump around a little. So without the desire to medicate myself (other than self-medication), I am going to see if I can stick with a simple blog for a period of time and prove her wrong. I don't really have any idea of what I am going to blog about, just some personal insights and opinions, but hopefully it makes some sense to some people. Let me preface this blog with one thing; although I consider myself to be pretty good with spelling and grammar, all bets are off for this blog. I would rather concentrate on what I am saying than the finer points of the English language. I will try to not sound like a retard, but don't focus on my format.

Every morning, I read the newspaper. Why I read it, I am not sure. I think I just enjoy getting pissed off at stupid people. Maybe I do it to get it out of my system early in the day so that I can go about the rest of the day being my pleasant and charming self....

Today, 49 of the 50 states of America have snow on the ground. Hawaii being the only exception. I live in west-central Florida and this has been the coldest winter in history around here and I suspect in much of North America and the rest of the world. Being the owner of an ice cream store, this cold has really affected my income. People don't want ice cream when it is 40 degrees outside! So I have decided that the next person that says something to me about global warming is going to get punched right in the nose.... I mentioned the global warming farce to an aquaintance of mine and he gave me some lame excuse... Something about the fact that global warming is causing it to be cold. Really?? Where are the thermometers that are showing the rising temperatures? Up someone's ass? Any temperature reading you get right now can't possibly show that anything is warming up! I am going to change all of my CFL light bulbs back to incandecants now! Enough already!

I realize that I only read the comics in the newspaper to see how bad they are... Does anyone remember a time when the Far Side, Calvin and Hobbes and Bloom County graced our funny pages? The funny pages are anything but funny, but I realized that maybe that's the plan... make the comics so bad that people like me are compelled to read them as if I am a rubbernecker that can't help but look at the car accident on the side of the road! It's all part of the diabolical plan and it has worked! Seriously, wasn't Peanuts bad enough the first time around? Do we really need it to be reprinted in it's complete crappiness? Is anything Charles Shultz ever put out even remotely funny? Come on, just print Bizarro as a full page comic and be done with it or rerun Calvin and Hobbes or something. What we have now is stupid...

The Winter Olympics started last night in Canada... If it wasn't for the fact that a luger from The Republic of Georgia died while practicing, I don't think too many people would have noticed. Actually, the Olympic committee couldn't have paid for the type of publicity that the accident got them. That may be the best thing that could have happened for them! Not that I feel good about a person being killed, but let's face it. If you are riding down a shute of ice on a sled wearing nothing but a body stocking and a bike helmet at over 90 mph, isn't it only a matter of time before you get killed? You know the risks going in, right? At least if you are in a bobsled, you can duck down into the vehicle and have a chance of living... Going down on a luge is like playing russian roulettle! After holding the gun to your head once, pulling the trigger and being lucky enough to live don't you call it quits and go drink some cheap vodka? If you continue, it's only a matter of time before the odds catch up with you. After one successful luge run, call it quits.